You can never go back!

I am not the person I was 22 years ago.  That may sound obvious however, there are differences that are subtle. 

Today, I had the pleasure of worshiping in a church I had been a member of 22 years ago.  I had told Mal that I really wanted to attend worship at this church because, I had many good memories there.  My eldest daughter was baptized at this church.   

We rocked up and there was a very familiar and comfortable place and and there were a few people who remembered me.  They were so delighted to think that after so long someone would care enough and have loved them enough to come visit.  They were even more delighted to learn that I would soon be a minister.  It was heartwarming for them and me.  I will keep in touch now.

During the experience, I recognized how this place and these people had been God’s agents in my life.  I had grown in faith at that place in spite of myself.  

This is how I know that I am not the same person.  When I was here 22 or so years ago, I was young and loved adventure but was becoming insecure.  I was white anting myself so to speak.  I was wrong then.  Feelings are feelings but feelings to not always reflect the truth.  People saw the truth and demonstrated God’s love to me then and now.  The difference, then I knew God loved me but struggled to love myself and accept that others loved me; now I think I am okay and can accept that okay is okay.  I am also happy to accept that the people I met today really do love me and now Mal 22 years on.  

I tell people all the time you can never go back.  I went back physically because of circumstance but emotionally and spiritually went to a place an moved forward.