Thursday, May 31, 2007

A Cracked Pot

I was asked the other day why my blog is named “A cracked pot”. It was suggested that I put the explanation onto the blog. While at the time I thought it not necessary, I now feel moved to explain.

Probably about 15 years ago a very dear friend of mine was struggling. She complained that she wanted to be a vessel for God and that with so much happening in her life she didn’t feel like a usable vessel. Suddenly at that moment in the discussion, I believe God gave me a word for her, but it happened suddenly; I had the picture of a plate come into my mind. It was earthen, shallow vessel; a plate is the best way to describe it. As I explained what I saw, she began to be a bit excited. She was indeed a vessel for God and the description fit perfectly for where she was at the time. She asked how I saw myself and at that time I saw an earthen vase big and round on the bottom so that it would not tip easily. And it had a long narrow neck with a bit of a flare at top. Then we had some laughs as I told her about the crack that I felt ran down the side; a cracked pot.

The discussion has been memorable for both of us and usually when my friend and I converse the memory of that conversation and laughter about the “cracked pot” begins again. I believe the laughter is because we know that it is true. We cannot serve God whole and that his Spirit and strength flows like water through our wounds and cracks.

I feel moved to write this because again I recognized that I am cracked, not whole. I have always known this but this morning I felt it. I did not recognize the pressure that I was putting on myself till it popped. You see, I woke this morning with only two things on my mind; finishing my essay and writing a sermon. Pretty much, everything else was blocked out. I desperately wanted the assignment finished because that is the last bit that is hanging left from my past and I want it finished so that I can press on into the now. The now being a sermon for Sunday that has been rolling around in my head crying to get out.

Because I became so focused, I missed a finance meeting. I took time out to call my Dad because family is a priority then totally forgot the meeting and jumped into finishing the essay.

I know that my presence at the meeting was not imperative. I may miss another, the next one, because of the kindy’s Vacation Bible School. But I want people to know I support them and I wanted the opportunity to get to know people and their roles. But I blew it. Yup, I feel stupid. I know that it is not because there were expectations of people that I may have really let them down. It is because, my mistake was not taking the time to review the calendar, I let outside pressure control instead of relaxing and letting God worry about it all and doing what needed to be done.

I will probably make this mistake again in different ways and situations but I think I have learned to set aside time in the morning to look to God, listen and layout a schedule that will ease the pressure and meet all the requirements.

Well, I better finish so that I can check my calendar and finish my day better than I started. I think it is important how a person recovers and regroups after an attack of stupidity (a topic for another entry).

Oh yeah, I have the design for a cracked pot water feature for my yard if we ever come off water restrictions. I have already a great collection of you guessed it – cracked pots.
PS: I can't help but feel better the kids at the kindy are playing water games outside, it looks like great fun.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

In Place

I am not in place yet. I have come to Guam moved into the manse (parsonage) and not started much ministry. I think that although it has been difficult not to just jump right in and get going that it is better this way. God has allowed my to exercise patience. Patience is a muscle that like all muscles requires exercise in order to be strong. The fact that I am here and not involved allows me time to see and listen and discern. I think that this is the first skill that field placement has taught me. Take your time and get to know what is going on, then jump in. I am looking forward to next week after I have taken the plunge.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Guarantee


As I see it, I have one guarantee; life eternal with my Lord. I write as a reflection on my daughter’s wedding to a wonderful man name John. During the day, I so enjoyed watching them smile. They are truly happy and seem to me to be well suited for each other. John’s best man commented that he has never seen the “well-balanced” (John’s Dad’s words) John so happy.

I wish that somehow I could promise them life long together. I do not wish them an easy life because I believe much character and strength and wisdom and hope (Rom ) is built through trials. But I do pray for them that it is a life-long marriage. But….I can’t guarantee that. Now that I think about it, I cannot even guarantee them long-life.

During the vows, I prayed that they would not suffer broken vows and divorce like I did. But I can’t guarantee.

I am aware that there were people at the wedding struggling from the recent results of broken marriage. I wish I could have guaranteed them a life-long marriage as I prayed for them at their wedding.

Not long after the beautiful wedding yesterday, I was notified of family members whose behavior was not in the least bit marriage strengthening for them. In fact, the behavior puts the marriage at risk. I can’t guarantee not even for my family.

The fault of course is sin. Sin, I define as separation from God. My marriage broke down when my ex-husband made choices that separated him from God. As a result, I guess I became closer to God; my response to trials that build endurance, character, and hope.

I cannot really comment on any other marriage break up but I reckon someone walked away from or never had God in most cases. I see marriage at risk when people step away from God.

It is so easy to do. Young couples, like I was and did, get married, get busy, have kids, life is good and going to worship becomes difficult. As the church attendance waned so did my connection with God. I turned back to God after time but my husband came and went and finally went permanently.

The guarantee was and ever will be God. My prayer for you Deb and John, and all people, is that you stick close to a church and to the people who will help you and pray for you and challenge you to connect and reconnect with God, your guarantee.

Amen.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Community

Well, this will be a busy week so thought that I would put some thoughts into a blog while I have time.

Today in worship, we prayed for Deb and John's wedding coming up on Saturday. And our minister read from the notices that the congregation was invited to attend and take part in the service that day. It struck me that this is how weddings are intended to be. They should be an experience of worshiping God. Not just the couple who are to wed but the entire congregation. I felt that people who have weddings outside their congregation or do not have a congregation are somehow missing out on the experience of God in their marriage. They are leaving out some very important people of the wedding party - the congregation who will support them and pray for them and stick with them through the entire marriage; call them the church family.

Romans 15:5
May the God of steadfastness and encouragement grant you to live in harmony with one another, in accordance with Christ Jesus, so that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (NRSV)
Amen.