I was asked the other day why my blog is named “A cracked pot”. It was suggested that I put the explanation onto the blog. While at the time I thought it not necessary, I now feel moved to explain.
Probably about 15 years ago a very dear friend of mine was struggling. She complained that she wanted to be a vessel for God and that with so much happening in her life she didn’t feel like a usable vessel. Suddenly at that moment in the discussion, I believe God gave me a word for her, but it happened suddenly; I had the picture of a plate come into my mind. It was earthen, shallow vessel; a plate is the best way to describe it. As I explained what I saw, she began to be a bit excited. She was indeed a vessel for God and the description fit perfectly for where she was at the time. She asked how I saw myself and at that time I saw an earthen vase big and round on the bottom so that it would not tip easily. And it had a long narrow neck with a bit of a flare at top. Then we had some laughs as I told her about the crack that I felt ran down the side; a cracked pot.
The discussion has been memorable for both of us and usually when my friend and I converse the memory of that conversation and laughter about the “cracked pot” begins again. I believe the laughter is because we know that it is true. We cannot serve God whole and that his Spirit and strength flows like water through our wounds and cracks.
I feel moved to write this because again I recognized that I am cracked, not whole. I have always known this but this morning I felt it. I did not recognize the pressure that I was putting on myself till it popped. You see, I woke this morning with only two things on my mind; finishing my essay and writing a sermon. Pretty much, everything else was blocked out. I desperately wanted the assignment finished because that is the last bit that is hanging left from my past and I want it finished so that I can press on into the now. The now being a sermon for Sunday that has been rolling around in my head crying to get out.
Because I became so focused, I missed a finance meeting. I took time out to call my Dad because family is a priority then totally forgot the meeting and jumped into finishing the essay.
I know that my presence at the meeting was not imperative. I may miss another, the next one, because of the kindy’s Vacation Bible School. But I want people to know I support them and I wanted the opportunity to get to know people and their roles. But I blew it. Yup, I feel stupid. I know that it is not because there were expectations of people that I may have really let them down. It is because, my mistake was not taking the time to review the calendar, I let outside pressure control instead of relaxing and letting God worry about it all and doing what needed to be done.
I will probably make this mistake again in different ways and situations but I think I have learned to set aside time in the morning to look to God, listen and layout a schedule that will ease the pressure and meet all the requirements.
Well, I better finish so that I can check my calendar and finish my day better than I started. I think it is important how a person recovers and regroups after an attack of stupidity (a topic for another entry).
Oh yeah, I have the design for a cracked pot water feature for my yard if we ever come off water restrictions. I have already a great collection of you guessed it – cracked pots.
Probably about 15 years ago a very dear friend of mine was struggling. She complained that she wanted to be a vessel for God and that with so much happening in her life she didn’t feel like a usable vessel. Suddenly at that moment in the discussion, I believe God gave me a word for her, but it happened suddenly; I had the picture of a plate come into my mind. It was earthen, shallow vessel; a plate is the best way to describe it. As I explained what I saw, she began to be a bit excited. She was indeed a vessel for God and the description fit perfectly for where she was at the time. She asked how I saw myself and at that time I saw an earthen vase big and round on the bottom so that it would not tip easily. And it had a long narrow neck with a bit of a flare at top. Then we had some laughs as I told her about the crack that I felt ran down the side; a cracked pot.
The discussion has been memorable for both of us and usually when my friend and I converse the memory of that conversation and laughter about the “cracked pot” begins again. I believe the laughter is because we know that it is true. We cannot serve God whole and that his Spirit and strength flows like water through our wounds and cracks.
I feel moved to write this because again I recognized that I am cracked, not whole. I have always known this but this morning I felt it. I did not recognize the pressure that I was putting on myself till it popped. You see, I woke this morning with only two things on my mind; finishing my essay and writing a sermon. Pretty much, everything else was blocked out. I desperately wanted the assignment finished because that is the last bit that is hanging left from my past and I want it finished so that I can press on into the now. The now being a sermon for Sunday that has been rolling around in my head crying to get out.
Because I became so focused, I missed a finance meeting. I took time out to call my Dad because family is a priority then totally forgot the meeting and jumped into finishing the essay.
I know that my presence at the meeting was not imperative. I may miss another, the next one, because of the kindy’s Vacation Bible School. But I want people to know I support them and I wanted the opportunity to get to know people and their roles. But I blew it. Yup, I feel stupid. I know that it is not because there were expectations of people that I may have really let them down. It is because, my mistake was not taking the time to review the calendar, I let outside pressure control instead of relaxing and letting God worry about it all and doing what needed to be done.
I will probably make this mistake again in different ways and situations but I think I have learned to set aside time in the morning to look to God, listen and layout a schedule that will ease the pressure and meet all the requirements.
Well, I better finish so that I can check my calendar and finish my day better than I started. I think it is important how a person recovers and regroups after an attack of stupidity (a topic for another entry).
Oh yeah, I have the design for a cracked pot water feature for my yard if we ever come off water restrictions. I have already a great collection of you guessed it – cracked pots.
PS: I can't help but feel better the kids at the kindy are playing water games outside, it looks like great fun.