I was asked the other day why my blog is named “A cracked pot”. It was suggested that I put the explanation onto the blog. While at the time I thought it not necessary, I now feel moved to explain.
Probably about 15 years ago a very dear friend of mine was struggling. She complained that she wanted to be a vessel for God and that with so much happening in her life she didn’t feel like a usable vessel. Suddenly at that moment in the discussion, I believe God gave me a word for her, but it happened suddenly; I had the picture of a plate come into my mind. It was earthen, shallow vessel; a plate is the best way to describe it. As I explained what I saw, she began to be a bit excited. She was indeed a vessel for God and the description fit perfectly for where she was at the time. She asked how I saw myself and at that time I saw an earthen vase big and round on the bottom so that it would not tip easily. And it had a long narrow neck with a bit of a flare at top. Then we had some laughs as I told her about the crack that I felt ran down the side; a cracked pot.
The discussion has been memorable for both of us and usually when my friend and I converse the memory of that conversation and laughter about the “cracked pot” begins again. I believe the laughter is because we know that it is true. We cannot serve God whole and that his Spirit and strength flows like water through our wounds and cracks.
I feel moved to write this because again I recognized that I am cracked, not whole. I have always known this but this morning I felt it. I did not recognize the pressure that I was putting on myself till it popped. You see, I woke this morning with only two things on my mind; finishing my essay and writing a sermon. Pretty much, everything else was blocked out. I desperately wanted the assignment finished because that is the last bit that is hanging left from my past and I want it finished so that I can press on into the now. The now being a sermon for Sunday that has been rolling around in my head crying to get out.
Because I became so focused, I missed a finance meeting. I took time out to call my Dad because family is a priority then totally forgot the meeting and jumped into finishing the essay.
I know that my presence at the meeting was not imperative. I may miss another, the next one, because of the kindy’s Vacation Bible School. But I want people to know I support them and I wanted the opportunity to get to know people and their roles. But I blew it. Yup, I feel stupid. I know that it is not because there were expectations of people that I may have really let them down. It is because, my mistake was not taking the time to review the calendar, I let outside pressure control instead of relaxing and letting God worry about it all and doing what needed to be done.
I will probably make this mistake again in different ways and situations but I think I have learned to set aside time in the morning to look to God, listen and layout a schedule that will ease the pressure and meet all the requirements.
Well, I better finish so that I can check my calendar and finish my day better than I started. I think it is important how a person recovers and regroups after an attack of stupidity (a topic for another entry).
Oh yeah, I have the design for a cracked pot water feature for my yard if we ever come off water restrictions. I have already a great collection of you guessed it – cracked pots.
Probably about 15 years ago a very dear friend of mine was struggling. She complained that she wanted to be a vessel for God and that with so much happening in her life she didn’t feel like a usable vessel. Suddenly at that moment in the discussion, I believe God gave me a word for her, but it happened suddenly; I had the picture of a plate come into my mind. It was earthen, shallow vessel; a plate is the best way to describe it. As I explained what I saw, she began to be a bit excited. She was indeed a vessel for God and the description fit perfectly for where she was at the time. She asked how I saw myself and at that time I saw an earthen vase big and round on the bottom so that it would not tip easily. And it had a long narrow neck with a bit of a flare at top. Then we had some laughs as I told her about the crack that I felt ran down the side; a cracked pot.
The discussion has been memorable for both of us and usually when my friend and I converse the memory of that conversation and laughter about the “cracked pot” begins again. I believe the laughter is because we know that it is true. We cannot serve God whole and that his Spirit and strength flows like water through our wounds and cracks.
I feel moved to write this because again I recognized that I am cracked, not whole. I have always known this but this morning I felt it. I did not recognize the pressure that I was putting on myself till it popped. You see, I woke this morning with only two things on my mind; finishing my essay and writing a sermon. Pretty much, everything else was blocked out. I desperately wanted the assignment finished because that is the last bit that is hanging left from my past and I want it finished so that I can press on into the now. The now being a sermon for Sunday that has been rolling around in my head crying to get out.
Because I became so focused, I missed a finance meeting. I took time out to call my Dad because family is a priority then totally forgot the meeting and jumped into finishing the essay.
I know that my presence at the meeting was not imperative. I may miss another, the next one, because of the kindy’s Vacation Bible School. But I want people to know I support them and I wanted the opportunity to get to know people and their roles. But I blew it. Yup, I feel stupid. I know that it is not because there were expectations of people that I may have really let them down. It is because, my mistake was not taking the time to review the calendar, I let outside pressure control instead of relaxing and letting God worry about it all and doing what needed to be done.
I will probably make this mistake again in different ways and situations but I think I have learned to set aside time in the morning to look to God, listen and layout a schedule that will ease the pressure and meet all the requirements.
Well, I better finish so that I can check my calendar and finish my day better than I started. I think it is important how a person recovers and regroups after an attack of stupidity (a topic for another entry).
Oh yeah, I have the design for a cracked pot water feature for my yard if we ever come off water restrictions. I have already a great collection of you guessed it – cracked pots.
PS: I can't help but feel better the kids at the kindy are playing water games outside, it looks like great fun.
2 comments:
Have you ever heard that analogy that if you put something ugly next to something beautiful, then the ugly thing looks uglier and the beautiful thing looks beautiful?
I think our brokenness is like that. We're broken, and that shows people that God is perfect. The more we admit and are open about our brokenness, the more beautiful God is.
I don't know if that helps. It's the way I look at it.
I love my cracked pot. But I was good to you and showed my cracks too a little later by fogetting the tyre appointment. Hope it made you feel less alone with your cracks
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