So for all you that just had to know.....this is what a cracked pot looks like and how it works.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Why I can't take myself too seriously 1
Today, I received a lovely email from a friend (female). The email had a poem with pictures and at the bottom said, I just didn't want to miss the opportunity to tell you I love you. So I happily replied to the email, "I love you too" and a short update about my travel plans. Then I clicked send and to my horror (humor really) realized that I was sending my reply to the original sender of this forwarded poem (male). For some reason many of the emails I receive from this friend are forwarded as attachments which when I open seem to open the original email that she got. I am usually clever enough to close this email and reply directly to her. Not today.
So in heaps of giggles, I email her and explain and asked her to let the original sender know. She replied, "Oh, you make me laugh..." Which made me giggle more. Of course, in giggles had to call my husband at work and let him know how funny I thought this was.
Then received an email from the originator saying, "I am curious, I can't think of who you are...."
Which made me laugh more. I am such a goof. At any rate, there is not much chance that I will suffer from taking myself too seriously any time soon.
PS: It is not so bad as it sounds. I know the guy.
So in heaps of giggles, I email her and explain and asked her to let the original sender know. She replied, "Oh, you make me laugh..." Which made me giggle more. Of course, in giggles had to call my husband at work and let him know how funny I thought this was.
Then received an email from the originator saying, "I am curious, I can't think of who you are...."
Which made me laugh more. I am such a goof. At any rate, there is not much chance that I will suffer from taking myself too seriously any time soon.
PS: It is not so bad as it sounds. I know the guy.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Moving sheep
I have heard people exclaim that getting their particular group to do something together is like herding cats. I think most people have witnessed the independence of cats and can relate to the potential difficulties. I have, however, experience with moving sheep and relate well to the Biblical phrase “the LORD is my shepherd” (Psalm 23:1).
I thought it appropriate to capture some of the memories of moving sheep.
I remember a few beautiful days, lovely weather and sheep that moved almost effortlessly from one pasture to the fresh pasture. But mostly, I remember, having to do a lot of running and some fancy footwork that would put the best dancer to shame. Of course, the object was to never have to run because that tended to scare the sheep. Moving sheep, always began as gently walking around on one side causing the sheep to graze in a particular direction. I remember this as the easy part. Then we got to the gate. Things got a little hairy at this point. The sheep would circle around but not go through the gate. At this point, Dad would take a bucket of grain and try to coax a “Lead”sheep through. This was often pointless, the “lead” sheep would go through with a few others and when the flock did not follow, they would return back through the gate. Occasionally, we used dogs to coax the sheep through the gate but Dad and probably Grampa before him thought that the end result of using the dogs was wild sheep. So the use of dogs seemed to be kept to a minimum. I can remember a few times, that we sort of carried sheep through the gate one at a time until there was a critical mass on the other side of the gate the encouraged the rest through. I remember a few times, all of a sudden the whole flock went through the gate for no apparent reason after having been at a stand still for some time.
This was not always in the lovely weather. Many times it was cold. Occasionally, we used horse and riders. But most of it was on foot and why not we were kids. A couple of times, an old ewe would bolt back and hit you dead on. It not only knocked a kid over it knocked the wind out of you. It took minutes to be able to breathe again and you had to get right back up. It was better to be knocked over than run over so you didn’t want to be lying on the ground.
Moving ewes that had lambs created additional challenges. Why would a mother, of any sort, leave her lamb to go and look for the very lamb she left? Strange but true.
Green pastures never seemed to be a good enough motivation for sheep to go through the gate.
What I learned from herding sheep…
Be patient
Be patient
If you cannot be patient get help from someone who can be
Be creative
Don’t give up; it is in the best interest of the sheep to be in green pasture and after all you are there for the benefit of the flock as that is in the shepherd’s best interest as well (Circular argument).
And lastly be patient
PS: I asked my Dad for some of his sheep memories. He said herding sheep was staying with them 24/7. He has done this, I have not. I have only experienced “working” sheep and “moving” sheep. “Moving” being a short stint at herding about a day long. Dad commented that it was while herding that you really get to know the sheep and yourself.
I thought it appropriate to capture some of the memories of moving sheep.
I remember a few beautiful days, lovely weather and sheep that moved almost effortlessly from one pasture to the fresh pasture. But mostly, I remember, having to do a lot of running and some fancy footwork that would put the best dancer to shame. Of course, the object was to never have to run because that tended to scare the sheep. Moving sheep, always began as gently walking around on one side causing the sheep to graze in a particular direction. I remember this as the easy part. Then we got to the gate. Things got a little hairy at this point. The sheep would circle around but not go through the gate. At this point, Dad would take a bucket of grain and try to coax a “Lead”sheep through. This was often pointless, the “lead” sheep would go through with a few others and when the flock did not follow, they would return back through the gate. Occasionally, we used dogs to coax the sheep through the gate but Dad and probably Grampa before him thought that the end result of using the dogs was wild sheep. So the use of dogs seemed to be kept to a minimum. I can remember a few times, that we sort of carried sheep through the gate one at a time until there was a critical mass on the other side of the gate the encouraged the rest through. I remember a few times, all of a sudden the whole flock went through the gate for no apparent reason after having been at a stand still for some time.
This was not always in the lovely weather. Many times it was cold. Occasionally, we used horse and riders. But most of it was on foot and why not we were kids. A couple of times, an old ewe would bolt back and hit you dead on. It not only knocked a kid over it knocked the wind out of you. It took minutes to be able to breathe again and you had to get right back up. It was better to be knocked over than run over so you didn’t want to be lying on the ground.
Moving ewes that had lambs created additional challenges. Why would a mother, of any sort, leave her lamb to go and look for the very lamb she left? Strange but true.
Green pastures never seemed to be a good enough motivation for sheep to go through the gate.
What I learned from herding sheep…
Be patient
Be patient
If you cannot be patient get help from someone who can be
Be creative
Don’t give up; it is in the best interest of the sheep to be in green pasture and after all you are there for the benefit of the flock as that is in the shepherd’s best interest as well (Circular argument).
And lastly be patient
PS: I asked my Dad for some of his sheep memories. He said herding sheep was staying with them 24/7. He has done this, I have not. I have only experienced “working” sheep and “moving” sheep. “Moving” being a short stint at herding about a day long. Dad commented that it was while herding that you really get to know the sheep and yourself.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
The Garden
I have been meaning to post these thoughts for a while but wanted a photo of my back yard to post with it and up till today did not have such a photo. I love this view of the garden. There are tall trees and not so tall trees; if you look closely you will see dead trees. There are plants dying and there is new life shooting from the decay. There is bamboo that is not native next to the native gum. There are all colors, shapes and sizes. There are a few weeds but remember a weed is just a plant out of place. There are a few plants stifled and crowded. There are plants with plenty of room. Some plants don’t get much sunshine and wish they did and there are plants in the shade that love it there. There are trees that are very old and there are the very young. There is a small creek. There are birds and snakes, frogs and lizards, probably stray cats as well. There is diversity. There is a small group of dedicated, loving people that remove the plants that would kill the garden. In the daylight, the garden is a beautiful, safe place for people to stroll and enjoy but in the dark, the garden can attract people who have less than honorable intentions. It is the garden that I enjoy being in and looking upon. It is all there in the garden; the place that God designed.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Briar Creek Retreat
Briar Creek Retreat is a thing, event, place that does not exist; at least not yet. It is a dream (which I believe God inspired) for a retreat centre for ministers. A couple we know have tried to send their minister and family on retreat only to find the cost of the retreat centers prohibiting. They also found that these places had many activities that were part of the cost. They began to see the need for a place for ministers and families to go with little or no cost and simply have time to be, to relate with each other and to have control of activities or lack of activity. At this imaginary place, there will be cabins with names; a community breakfast, if you want; a lake; walks; a garden and nearby a town with concerts; boating, fishing, etc. Will it be real? I think so. I see the need for such a place and am supportive of the dream. Right now, it is at the trust God for the funding stage. I believe in about 4 -5 years this place will be real and Mal and I will be sitting by the lake with my Dad, maybe with siblings, children and grandchildren. Care to join me?
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
"I killed a bird with two stones"*
Sometimes we all miss our mark. Two birds with one stone is a special event and perhaps even one bird with one stone. But I think many times to get to what we are aiming at we need to “throw” several “stones”. I believe that it is okay to keep trying to achieve good goals. The idea would be to make sure the bird that we are aiming at is truly the one we want. After that, fire away. Otherwise, you simply join the ranks of people who throw stones.
*Mia, 2 September 2007
*Mia, 2 September 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Stormy Weather
When it rains, it pours. I take that back – not always. Often in my life there have been gentle rains. Rains that I are not so messy, rains that I have walked through with my children, where there have been puddles to jump into for fun. But other times, it doesn’t just rain; it pours. I have to say, that God has blessed me with what I am doing. It hasn’t been a cruise but busy enough and challenging enough to fill my time. I have seen things that should be done but have left them because they are not urgent and they are not my job. Had I picked up every job that I saw needing to be done, it would have been too much. I believe that God has blessed me with a real picture of ministry over the last three months. Then it pours. I realize that this is a season; only one week really. While the weather is chilly and blustery outside in Brisbane indeed, in my life, the weather is now calm until next week probably when I start work again.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Once in a lifetime
We often justify our expenses, our actions, our decisions by saying that they are "once in a lifetime". I think that phrase really is justification. The truth is that every moment of our lives is only once in a lifetime but we seldom treat them as such. I believe that we need to stop chasing expensive "once in a lifetime" opportunities, stop justifying things as "once in a lifetime" and start paying attention to the moments. I'll stop preaching now!
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
When you don’t know what to blog
Well since this is a weekly journal and it has been a week, I need to blog something. I don’t know if it is because I am tired or because there is a holiday this week or because I have too much to say or not enough but I don’t know what to say so may just log a few random thoughts like:
Why do people never say what they mean or think? Me included. For example, instead of telling my daughter I am proud of her college/uni grades. I say great you’re catching up with me. I should probably just have said I am proud. (Hi Mia, I am proud of you!) That is just one of many examples that I have come across this week.
Why do you just get to the cruise stage of something then it changes? Yeah, yeah, “Rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope and hope does not put us to shame…” (Rom 5:3-5a ESV) But do we need to remain in that cycle so much of the time?
Why does time go so fast? I am halfway through my Guam time and I don’t want to be halfway a quarter way would be fine. I am just catching on, see the paragraph above. Of course the reverse applies, if it were not fulfilling and educational, time would probably be dragging. Age old modern question, huh?
Well this will have to be enough rambling. I feel like I am just being silly and killing time.
Why do people never say what they mean or think? Me included. For example, instead of telling my daughter I am proud of her college/uni grades. I say great you’re catching up with me. I should probably just have said I am proud. (Hi Mia, I am proud of you!) That is just one of many examples that I have come across this week.
Why do you just get to the cruise stage of something then it changes? Yeah, yeah, “Rejoice in our sufferings knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope and hope does not put us to shame…” (Rom 5:3-5a ESV) But do we need to remain in that cycle so much of the time?
Why does time go so fast? I am halfway through my Guam time and I don’t want to be halfway a quarter way would be fine. I am just catching on, see the paragraph above. Of course the reverse applies, if it were not fulfilling and educational, time would probably be dragging. Age old modern question, huh?
Well this will have to be enough rambling. I feel like I am just being silly and killing time.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
From humiliation to humility
Just over 5 years ago on Guam, I had to get some paperwork from the public health office. I remember this experience as humiliating. First of all, this is not a nice building, run down, and abused. I was ignorant of the reason that a healthy person with insurance would have to go to “public health”. I was very prideful because at the time, I was living well below the U.S. poverty level and had insurance and enough money, so it seemed an insult to me that I had to go hang out at public health with “real” poor people. I was concerned that I would be judged as in the same category as everyone else there. You know the stigma thing. Maybe, it wasn’t only pride, a bit of fear because my family and I were so close to being there in need.
As God would have it, I had to go back again for the same piece of paper. The original had been lost from my record. I hoped that public health would have the record and could copy it but no, I had to go through all interviews and steps in the process all over. However, this time I was not humiliated. I was humble. I sat with people in real need. The number of children out numbered adults. They were all patiently waiting there turn, no one complained. Most people even seemed grateful to have a place to turn to in their need. There was no stigma. I was there for what I was there for and everyone else was there for whatever they were there for. I was too caught up in myself to notice anyone else the first time.
I thank God for the opportunity to see how much I have grown by this sort of apple for apple comparison.
As God would have it, I had to go back again for the same piece of paper. The original had been lost from my record. I hoped that public health would have the record and could copy it but no, I had to go through all interviews and steps in the process all over. However, this time I was not humiliated. I was humble. I sat with people in real need. The number of children out numbered adults. They were all patiently waiting there turn, no one complained. Most people even seemed grateful to have a place to turn to in their need. There was no stigma. I was there for what I was there for and everyone else was there for whatever they were there for. I was too caught up in myself to notice anyone else the first time.
I thank God for the opportunity to see how much I have grown by this sort of apple for apple comparison.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
When the roll is called...
I don’t think about death too often; in fact, I can probably count the number times on one hand, but recently pondered death for a bit. I think it is a healthy thing to do as long as death is not the continuing thought. One should remember one’s mortality in order to appreciate life and live.
I thought of death when I enlisted into the Air Force Reserve. I was to enlist just before 9-11 but was held up by some paperwork, then after 9-11 had to think, we are at war, am I ready to do this and possibly die? I enlisted.
I thought of death when I was told that my tuberculosis skin test was positive. I know that people do not die from TB much anymore but I was just beginning life with Mal and didn’t want to think about death when life only seemed to be beginning.
I think of Mal dying once in a while. He is older than I am and the chance is he will die before me. I read in a marriage book that you should mourn the death of your partner together while you are both alive. That way you do not miss the opportunity to say, “I will miss you.”
But I thought of me dying this week. I was sitting in the clinic in a great deal of pain from an outer ear infection. I first was thinking of the purpose of pain; to signal to the brain that something is wrong. But as I thought, I decided that pain for many of us may need to be part of death. As I sat there in pain, I thought if God tapped me on the shoulder at that moment and said your time on earth is up, I would have readily gone. The pain would stop. I desired that. I know that God is not tapping but at the same time recognized I was ready and not afraid.
I am not sure that once the pain stops I will be able to say the same thing. Once life is pain free, I am not sure I will feel the same way about dying; I will not be ready to die, I will desire to live. So maybe I will need a bit of pain to encourage me to my eternal home. Maybe…
I thought of death when I enlisted into the Air Force Reserve. I was to enlist just before 9-11 but was held up by some paperwork, then after 9-11 had to think, we are at war, am I ready to do this and possibly die? I enlisted.
I thought of death when I was told that my tuberculosis skin test was positive. I know that people do not die from TB much anymore but I was just beginning life with Mal and didn’t want to think about death when life only seemed to be beginning.
I think of Mal dying once in a while. He is older than I am and the chance is he will die before me. I read in a marriage book that you should mourn the death of your partner together while you are both alive. That way you do not miss the opportunity to say, “I will miss you.”
But I thought of me dying this week. I was sitting in the clinic in a great deal of pain from an outer ear infection. I first was thinking of the purpose of pain; to signal to the brain that something is wrong. But as I thought, I decided that pain for many of us may need to be part of death. As I sat there in pain, I thought if God tapped me on the shoulder at that moment and said your time on earth is up, I would have readily gone. The pain would stop. I desired that. I know that God is not tapping but at the same time recognized I was ready and not afraid.
I am not sure that once the pain stops I will be able to say the same thing. Once life is pain free, I am not sure I will feel the same way about dying; I will not be ready to die, I will desire to live. So maybe I will need a bit of pain to encourage me to my eternal home. Maybe…
Friday, June 15, 2007
Fight or Flight
Today, I met with my supervisor at his office at the Bible College. I am in the Air Force Reserve and came straight from the base to his office so was still in uniform. It also meant that I was coming to the college from the opposite direction and when I got to about where I thought it was and didn’t see it, I stopped at a shop and asked a young man if he knew where the college was. He point just there. I was close so headed back to my car then he called to me. I stopped and he asked me, “Why do you want to go study Bible and go fight for our freedom?” I stopped dead in my tracks. I was late for my appointment so I gave him the easy answer, “I am just going there for a meeting.” But then I did not have long enough drive to campus to really give this deep thought so here it is on the blog. The truth is I don’t want to fight for freedom. I don’t want to fight period. This was probably not true when I enlisted, oh so many years ago. I have put too much time in to just give up the retirement benefits. And most of the time I enjoy my military work because I can do ministry and serve people where I am. I was told by my commanding officer that I have a certain ethic about me. Could it be….God? I believe so and the comment tells me that God is working there. Tough question, why study the Bible and fight for freedom? I feel called where I am so could say, “God told me to.” Or I could just say, “I have a meeting.
Friday, June 08, 2007
My Home?
“This world is not my home; I’m just a passing through...” All houses are temporary.
I have invited people to our house for dinner. Then I had to say, the Pastor’s house, but had to change that again because the house belongs to the church. I invited my friends to my temporary house to which the response came all houses are temporary.
I fully understand that I am in this lovely location in Guam for another 8 or so weeks but we have a townhouse in Brisbane, how long will I be there? A couple of years probably, Mal and I purchased it with the intention of staying forever. Even then, I knew that was not really true and just a figure of speech. Even when we bought the house I knew it was just for a time until God called.
Ever since we purchased, we thanked God for the home and prayed that God would use it for his purposes. But often I forget that it is God’s house. I wanted new floors, I was planning new floors for me. I hate the existing floors and was demanding new ones. God said, “It’s not your house.” Then, tiles began to fall off of the bathroom wall. I was devastated. Now, we have beautiful new bathrooms and fresh paint in the bedrooms and the same floors. Not my plan, I was happy with the bathrooms. But the result, I need to not plan so much and just let it be God’s house. God can plan and the results are beyond my dreams and better than what I would have done.
If God can do that with a house, what would happen if we gave him all our possessions? What would happen if we gave him our lives?
“My treasures are laid out somewhere beyond the blue. The angels beckon me from heaven’s open door and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.”
I have invited people to our house for dinner. Then I had to say, the Pastor’s house, but had to change that again because the house belongs to the church. I invited my friends to my temporary house to which the response came all houses are temporary.
I fully understand that I am in this lovely location in Guam for another 8 or so weeks but we have a townhouse in Brisbane, how long will I be there? A couple of years probably, Mal and I purchased it with the intention of staying forever. Even then, I knew that was not really true and just a figure of speech. Even when we bought the house I knew it was just for a time until God called.
Ever since we purchased, we thanked God for the home and prayed that God would use it for his purposes. But often I forget that it is God’s house. I wanted new floors, I was planning new floors for me. I hate the existing floors and was demanding new ones. God said, “It’s not your house.” Then, tiles began to fall off of the bathroom wall. I was devastated. Now, we have beautiful new bathrooms and fresh paint in the bedrooms and the same floors. Not my plan, I was happy with the bathrooms. But the result, I need to not plan so much and just let it be God’s house. God can plan and the results are beyond my dreams and better than what I would have done.
If God can do that with a house, what would happen if we gave him all our possessions? What would happen if we gave him our lives?
“My treasures are laid out somewhere beyond the blue. The angels beckon me from heaven’s open door and I can’t feel at home in this world anymore.”
Thursday, May 31, 2007
A Cracked Pot
I was asked the other day why my blog is named “A cracked pot”. It was suggested that I put the explanation onto the blog. While at the time I thought it not necessary, I now feel moved to explain.
Probably about 15 years ago a very dear friend of mine was struggling. She complained that she wanted to be a vessel for God and that with so much happening in her life she didn’t feel like a usable vessel. Suddenly at that moment in the discussion, I believe God gave me a word for her, but it happened suddenly; I had the picture of a plate come into my mind. It was earthen, shallow vessel; a plate is the best way to describe it. As I explained what I saw, she began to be a bit excited. She was indeed a vessel for God and the description fit perfectly for where she was at the time. She asked how I saw myself and at that time I saw an earthen vase big and round on the bottom so that it would not tip easily. And it had a long narrow neck with a bit of a flare at top. Then we had some laughs as I told her about the crack that I felt ran down the side; a cracked pot.
The discussion has been memorable for both of us and usually when my friend and I converse the memory of that conversation and laughter about the “cracked pot” begins again. I believe the laughter is because we know that it is true. We cannot serve God whole and that his Spirit and strength flows like water through our wounds and cracks.
I feel moved to write this because again I recognized that I am cracked, not whole. I have always known this but this morning I felt it. I did not recognize the pressure that I was putting on myself till it popped. You see, I woke this morning with only two things on my mind; finishing my essay and writing a sermon. Pretty much, everything else was blocked out. I desperately wanted the assignment finished because that is the last bit that is hanging left from my past and I want it finished so that I can press on into the now. The now being a sermon for Sunday that has been rolling around in my head crying to get out.
Because I became so focused, I missed a finance meeting. I took time out to call my Dad because family is a priority then totally forgot the meeting and jumped into finishing the essay.
I know that my presence at the meeting was not imperative. I may miss another, the next one, because of the kindy’s Vacation Bible School. But I want people to know I support them and I wanted the opportunity to get to know people and their roles. But I blew it. Yup, I feel stupid. I know that it is not because there were expectations of people that I may have really let them down. It is because, my mistake was not taking the time to review the calendar, I let outside pressure control instead of relaxing and letting God worry about it all and doing what needed to be done.
I will probably make this mistake again in different ways and situations but I think I have learned to set aside time in the morning to look to God, listen and layout a schedule that will ease the pressure and meet all the requirements.
Well, I better finish so that I can check my calendar and finish my day better than I started. I think it is important how a person recovers and regroups after an attack of stupidity (a topic for another entry).
Oh yeah, I have the design for a cracked pot water feature for my yard if we ever come off water restrictions. I have already a great collection of you guessed it – cracked pots.
Probably about 15 years ago a very dear friend of mine was struggling. She complained that she wanted to be a vessel for God and that with so much happening in her life she didn’t feel like a usable vessel. Suddenly at that moment in the discussion, I believe God gave me a word for her, but it happened suddenly; I had the picture of a plate come into my mind. It was earthen, shallow vessel; a plate is the best way to describe it. As I explained what I saw, she began to be a bit excited. She was indeed a vessel for God and the description fit perfectly for where she was at the time. She asked how I saw myself and at that time I saw an earthen vase big and round on the bottom so that it would not tip easily. And it had a long narrow neck with a bit of a flare at top. Then we had some laughs as I told her about the crack that I felt ran down the side; a cracked pot.
The discussion has been memorable for both of us and usually when my friend and I converse the memory of that conversation and laughter about the “cracked pot” begins again. I believe the laughter is because we know that it is true. We cannot serve God whole and that his Spirit and strength flows like water through our wounds and cracks.
I feel moved to write this because again I recognized that I am cracked, not whole. I have always known this but this morning I felt it. I did not recognize the pressure that I was putting on myself till it popped. You see, I woke this morning with only two things on my mind; finishing my essay and writing a sermon. Pretty much, everything else was blocked out. I desperately wanted the assignment finished because that is the last bit that is hanging left from my past and I want it finished so that I can press on into the now. The now being a sermon for Sunday that has been rolling around in my head crying to get out.
Because I became so focused, I missed a finance meeting. I took time out to call my Dad because family is a priority then totally forgot the meeting and jumped into finishing the essay.
I know that my presence at the meeting was not imperative. I may miss another, the next one, because of the kindy’s Vacation Bible School. But I want people to know I support them and I wanted the opportunity to get to know people and their roles. But I blew it. Yup, I feel stupid. I know that it is not because there were expectations of people that I may have really let them down. It is because, my mistake was not taking the time to review the calendar, I let outside pressure control instead of relaxing and letting God worry about it all and doing what needed to be done.
I will probably make this mistake again in different ways and situations but I think I have learned to set aside time in the morning to look to God, listen and layout a schedule that will ease the pressure and meet all the requirements.
Well, I better finish so that I can check my calendar and finish my day better than I started. I think it is important how a person recovers and regroups after an attack of stupidity (a topic for another entry).
Oh yeah, I have the design for a cracked pot water feature for my yard if we ever come off water restrictions. I have already a great collection of you guessed it – cracked pots.
PS: I can't help but feel better the kids at the kindy are playing water games outside, it looks like great fun.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
In Place
I am not in place yet. I have come to Guam moved into the manse (parsonage) and not started much ministry. I think that although it has been difficult not to just jump right in and get going that it is better this way. God has allowed my to exercise patience. Patience is a muscle that like all muscles requires exercise in order to be strong. The fact that I am here and not involved allows me time to see and listen and discern. I think that this is the first skill that field placement has taught me. Take your time and get to know what is going on, then jump in. I am looking forward to next week after I have taken the plunge.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Guarantee
As I see it, I have one guarantee; life eternal with my Lord. I write as a reflection on my daughter’s wedding to a wonderful man name John. During the day, I so enjoyed watching them smile. They are truly happy and seem to me to be well suited for each other. John’s best man commented that he has never seen the “well-balanced” (John’s Dad’s words) John so happy.
I wish that somehow I could promise them life long together. I do not wish them an easy life because I believe much character and strength and wisdom and hope (Rom ) is built through trials. But I do pray for them that it is a life-long marriage. But….I can’t guarantee that. Now that I think about it, I cannot even guarantee them long-life.
During the vows, I prayed that they would not suffer broken vows and divorce like I did. But I can’t guarantee.
I am aware that there were people at the wedding struggling from the recent results of broken marriage. I wish I could have guaranteed them a life-long marriage as I prayed for them at their wedding.
Not long after the beautiful wedding yesterday, I was notified of family members whose behavior was not in the least bit marriage strengthening for them. In fact, the behavior puts the marriage at risk. I can’t guarantee not even for my family.
The fault of course is sin. Sin, I define as separation from God. My marriage broke down when my ex-husband made choices that separated him from God. As a result, I guess I became closer to God; my response to trials that build endurance, character, and hope.
I cannot really comment on any other marriage break up but I reckon someone walked away from or never had God in most cases. I see marriage at risk when people step away from God.
It is so easy to do. Young couples, like I was and did, get married, get busy, have kids, life is good and going to worship becomes difficult. As the church attendance waned so did my connection with God. I turned back to God after time but my husband came and went and finally went permanently.
The guarantee was and ever will be God. My prayer for you Deb and John, and all people, is that you stick close to a church and to the people who will help you and pray for you and challenge you to connect and reconnect with God, your guarantee.
I wish that somehow I could promise them life long together. I do not wish them an easy life because I believe much character and strength and wisdom and hope (Rom ) is built through trials. But I do pray for them that it is a life-long marriage. But….I can’t guarantee that. Now that I think about it, I cannot even guarantee them long-life.
During the vows, I prayed that they would not suffer broken vows and divorce like I did. But I can’t guarantee.
I am aware that there were people at the wedding struggling from the recent results of broken marriage. I wish I could have guaranteed them a life-long marriage as I prayed for them at their wedding.
Not long after the beautiful wedding yesterday, I was notified of family members whose behavior was not in the least bit marriage strengthening for them. In fact, the behavior puts the marriage at risk. I can’t guarantee not even for my family.
The fault of course is sin. Sin, I define as separation from God. My marriage broke down when my ex-husband made choices that separated him from God. As a result, I guess I became closer to God; my response to trials that build endurance, character, and hope.
I cannot really comment on any other marriage break up but I reckon someone walked away from or never had God in most cases. I see marriage at risk when people step away from God.
It is so easy to do. Young couples, like I was and did, get married, get busy, have kids, life is good and going to worship becomes difficult. As the church attendance waned so did my connection with God. I turned back to God after time but my husband came and went and finally went permanently.
The guarantee was and ever will be God. My prayer for you Deb and John, and all people, is that you stick close to a church and to the people who will help you and pray for you and challenge you to connect and reconnect with God, your guarantee.
Amen.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Community
Well, this will be a busy week so thought that I would put some thoughts into a blog while I have time.
Today in worship, we prayed for Deb and John's wedding coming up on Saturday. And our minister read from the notices that the congregation was invited to attend and take part in the service that day. It struck me that this is how weddings are intended to be. They should be an experience of worshiping God. Not just the couple who are to wed but the entire congregation. I felt that people who have weddings outside their congregation or do not have a congregation are somehow missing out on the experience of God in their marriage. They are leaving out some very important people of the wedding party - the congregation who will support them and pray for them and stick with them through the entire marriage; call them the church family.
Romans 15:5
May the God of steadfastness and encouragement grant you to live in harmony with one another, in accordance with Christ Jesus, so that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (NRSV)
Amen.
Today in worship, we prayed for Deb and John's wedding coming up on Saturday. And our minister read from the notices that the congregation was invited to attend and take part in the service that day. It struck me that this is how weddings are intended to be. They should be an experience of worshiping God. Not just the couple who are to wed but the entire congregation. I felt that people who have weddings outside their congregation or do not have a congregation are somehow missing out on the experience of God in their marriage. They are leaving out some very important people of the wedding party - the congregation who will support them and pray for them and stick with them through the entire marriage; call them the church family.
Romans 15:5
May the God of steadfastness and encouragement grant you to live in harmony with one another, in accordance with Christ Jesus, so that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (NRSV)
Amen.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Debrief
Debrief is an interesting word that seems to be in fashion. Let's take a look at how that seems to work in ministry. There is an incident, say with a minor injury. The minister debriefs people so that the carry no unhealthy guilt or shame about the incident. The incident report is done. Then the minister does not get to debrief for 4 - 6 weeks when they meet with their professional supervisor. I realize that the minister probably does have a network of minister friends to call on and pour out to. But it seems the minister sort of gets the raw deal.
Is this because in the past, there was perception that ministers were sort of better than everyone else. Once ordained does a person became some sort of super human that can handle anything?
I agree ministers have a great deal of training and gifting to debrief but they are still human. I am happy that ministers have professional supervisors to debrief with at all. This is a positive change.
So the underlying issue really is, how do the ordained keep the being set apart and the being human in a balance tension? My answer, they need to be true to themselves. Once you try to be something else, whosh the balance is tipped.
Is this because in the past, there was perception that ministers were sort of better than everyone else. Once ordained does a person became some sort of super human that can handle anything?
I agree ministers have a great deal of training and gifting to debrief but they are still human. I am happy that ministers have professional supervisors to debrief with at all. This is a positive change.
So the underlying issue really is, how do the ordained keep the being set apart and the being human in a balance tension? My answer, they need to be true to themselves. Once you try to be something else, whosh the balance is tipped.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
No end in sight - Half of Chapter 2
I did get this far on Chapter 2 before getting bogged. So till there is time this will have to do.
As I told you, I am non-player in a storyline that began more than 2,000 years ago. Now you may wonder how why people with the same hope in a Kingdom of the same God would come to part ways. What was it specifically that this man/God did that could divide so many for so long? Well, let me see if I can explain.
Long before the man/God entered the story, the people of the original storyline were expecting a Savior from God to redeem them and usher in the Kingdom. The prophets of old told of this event. In beautiful poetic imagery, the expectation, prophesy really, of the Savior developed. As the expectation developed so did strong opinions on what would happen when the Savior would come. Many expected sounds of trumpet and an entrance fit for a King after all, the Savior was to reign in the promised Kingdom.
But God came as a man. Not really an ordinary man but a man born of a virgin. Remarkable, unbelievable really unless you believe that it was God. God would not need a man to be born. God had already created man. But to be born human, God would need to be born from a woman.
Setting aside the birth, the man/God did remarkable things. He challenged people to love, to understand the commandments through the lens of love. He challenged people to do the right thing and find fulfillment in honesty and integrity. He challenged people to have relationship with and worship God not to simply follow religious rules. He caused miracles to happen. He healed many. He broke down barriers and accepted all people.
Wow, that sounds like a Kingdom already, not a kingdom that we know about but a kingdom worth waiting for and believing in. Many believed and many followed. But some were threatened. The man/God had turned the tables on power and authority. He broke down barriers that some believe sacred; the Savior would not save all only the chosen. And a nail was driven in the fabric of the story. Slowly, ever so slowly, the fabric of the story began to tear in two.
Some people began to seek ways to kill the man. They did not believe that he was God. These people could only see their immediate situation and the loss of their power and control of the masses. Some were afraid. Some may have been trying to push that man into taking authority like the king they believed he was. In the end, the motivations were complex and maybe even not recorded however, history has proven over and over since that time, and before, that people will kill for power.
In a mighty climax, the opposition made their move and killed the man/God. Not just a quick killing but the man/God suffered, was beaten, mocked and nailed to a cross; the most humiliating death that can be imagined. The end? Oh no, not quite.
Many believed it to be the end; the leader dead, the followers scattered. The people responsible maybe breathed a sigh of relief. The followers were stunned and amazed; lost and grieving. What had happened? Was there no hope that the Kingdom would come? But it was not the end.
The leader rose again. Alive. The man/God walked again with the people. He was seen by many. So convincingly, that the group again banded together to proclaim the coming of the promised and now soon expected Kingdom. These people knew now with the utmost certainty that they had seen the Savior of God. Only God could die and come back to life and they believed he would come again to claim his people.
But wait, God die? How can God do that? I don’t know. God is God. But follow along with me this does make sense. In the beginning of the story, for people to be in right relationship with God, they needed to love God above all and love all around them like God does. This is not an easy task, in fact is impossible to do all the time, so God put into place a system of sacrifices, cleansing and worship that would allow for the atonement of sins. This however, meant continual sacrifices as any single person would get it wrong eventually again after a sacrifice. The belief then was that the Savior would save once and for all.
As I told you, I am non-player in a storyline that began more than 2,000 years ago. Now you may wonder how why people with the same hope in a Kingdom of the same God would come to part ways. What was it specifically that this man/God did that could divide so many for so long? Well, let me see if I can explain.
Long before the man/God entered the story, the people of the original storyline were expecting a Savior from God to redeem them and usher in the Kingdom. The prophets of old told of this event. In beautiful poetic imagery, the expectation, prophesy really, of the Savior developed. As the expectation developed so did strong opinions on what would happen when the Savior would come. Many expected sounds of trumpet and an entrance fit for a King after all, the Savior was to reign in the promised Kingdom.
But God came as a man. Not really an ordinary man but a man born of a virgin. Remarkable, unbelievable really unless you believe that it was God. God would not need a man to be born. God had already created man. But to be born human, God would need to be born from a woman.
Setting aside the birth, the man/God did remarkable things. He challenged people to love, to understand the commandments through the lens of love. He challenged people to do the right thing and find fulfillment in honesty and integrity. He challenged people to have relationship with and worship God not to simply follow religious rules. He caused miracles to happen. He healed many. He broke down barriers and accepted all people.
Wow, that sounds like a Kingdom already, not a kingdom that we know about but a kingdom worth waiting for and believing in. Many believed and many followed. But some were threatened. The man/God had turned the tables on power and authority. He broke down barriers that some believe sacred; the Savior would not save all only the chosen. And a nail was driven in the fabric of the story. Slowly, ever so slowly, the fabric of the story began to tear in two.
Some people began to seek ways to kill the man. They did not believe that he was God. These people could only see their immediate situation and the loss of their power and control of the masses. Some were afraid. Some may have been trying to push that man into taking authority like the king they believed he was. In the end, the motivations were complex and maybe even not recorded however, history has proven over and over since that time, and before, that people will kill for power.
In a mighty climax, the opposition made their move and killed the man/God. Not just a quick killing but the man/God suffered, was beaten, mocked and nailed to a cross; the most humiliating death that can be imagined. The end? Oh no, not quite.
Many believed it to be the end; the leader dead, the followers scattered. The people responsible maybe breathed a sigh of relief. The followers were stunned and amazed; lost and grieving. What had happened? Was there no hope that the Kingdom would come? But it was not the end.
The leader rose again. Alive. The man/God walked again with the people. He was seen by many. So convincingly, that the group again banded together to proclaim the coming of the promised and now soon expected Kingdom. These people knew now with the utmost certainty that they had seen the Savior of God. Only God could die and come back to life and they believed he would come again to claim his people.
But wait, God die? How can God do that? I don’t know. God is God. But follow along with me this does make sense. In the beginning of the story, for people to be in right relationship with God, they needed to love God above all and love all around them like God does. This is not an easy task, in fact is impossible to do all the time, so God put into place a system of sacrifices, cleansing and worship that would allow for the atonement of sins. This however, meant continual sacrifices as any single person would get it wrong eventually again after a sacrifice. The belief then was that the Savior would save once and for all.
Overload
Okay, I am officially overloaded. I would like to blog my ideas on the difference between God's will and man's will. But have not had time.
I would like to discuss symbols. What they mean to who.
I would like to discuss time management. This goes in cycles you know. You keep up then suddenly, there is a wrench (spanner for you Australians) in the cogs and boy is it tough going getting back on track.
There are 3 major essays I would like to do before I leave for Guam.
There is my daughter's wedding.
There are my church jobs.
I am a wife.
Mother.
Housekeeper.
Although, reflection on all these areas happens, I have little time to record it because it there is little time
Please don't feel sorry for me. I do not think I am different than anyother. Just pray.
Thanks
I would like to discuss symbols. What they mean to who.
I would like to discuss time management. This goes in cycles you know. You keep up then suddenly, there is a wrench (spanner for you Australians) in the cogs and boy is it tough going getting back on track.
There are 3 major essays I would like to do before I leave for Guam.
There is my daughter's wedding.
There are my church jobs.
I am a wife.
Mother.
Housekeeper.
Although, reflection on all these areas happens, I have little time to record it because it there is little time
Please don't feel sorry for me. I do not think I am different than anyother. Just pray.
Thanks
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Missed a week
Yes, I missed a week of blogging. I went on holiday and joined my husband in Melbourne. It was a lovely time. I communed with lovely ladies at a beautiful stone church in Williamstown. We feasted, broke bread with friends and family. I did some reading and a bit of writing.
Oh yeah, I shopped too.
Oh yeah, I shopped too.
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Complacency
Complacency
I was visiting with my Dad not too long ago, when I commented on people that are “way smarter than I am”. He stated that it may not be a bad thing to keep notice of that. By noticing I would never become complacent. We went on to discuss how complacency fills work places with unhappy workers and fills churches with people wondering why they don’t get anything out of worship anymore. They have become complacent so do not put anything into it and in return get little out of it.
My Dad is a wise man for the most part and I am proud to have him for my Dad. I will work hard at whatever I do, meaning I will try not to be complacent, so that I can honour him. I will keep this in balance, though, with the notion that he is already proud of me, so I have nothing to prove.
God is wiser than my Dad. With God, I have even less to prove but still need to work at not being complacent. Right now, while I am studying, that is relatively easy to do. I am confronted daily with ideas that are bigger than I am and feel often that I am on the edge of this great revelation but never quite getting it.
My challenge, when in full time ministry, will be in spite of the routine to be excited, as I am now, to continue to learn and seek knowledge as if I am always on the edge of that big discovery.
I was visiting with my Dad not too long ago, when I commented on people that are “way smarter than I am”. He stated that it may not be a bad thing to keep notice of that. By noticing I would never become complacent. We went on to discuss how complacency fills work places with unhappy workers and fills churches with people wondering why they don’t get anything out of worship anymore. They have become complacent so do not put anything into it and in return get little out of it.
My Dad is a wise man for the most part and I am proud to have him for my Dad. I will work hard at whatever I do, meaning I will try not to be complacent, so that I can honour him. I will keep this in balance, though, with the notion that he is already proud of me, so I have nothing to prove.
God is wiser than my Dad. With God, I have even less to prove but still need to work at not being complacent. Right now, while I am studying, that is relatively easy to do. I am confronted daily with ideas that are bigger than I am and feel often that I am on the edge of this great revelation but never quite getting it.
My challenge, when in full time ministry, will be in spite of the routine to be excited, as I am now, to continue to learn and seek knowledge as if I am always on the edge of that big discovery.
Friday, March 30, 2007
Calculated Risk
Just about everything a minister does has risk. The simplest greeting, “How are you doing?” can be responded to in anger or fits of tears. This does not mean that we should not take the risk; it means that we need to manage the consequences.
Here is how I do that.
First, I recognize that I have baggage. I have baggage from previous relationships of all sorts that have left me hurt and believing a pack of lies. These packs of lies create my baggage.
Random tangent, I think that over the years, I have become reasonably good at shedding baggage, both literally and figuratively. In my life I have made major moves that have required me to shed almost all of my personal belongings. Twice in my life I have started completely over in a totally new environment with only 12 suitcases/boxes between me and my girls. I have learned not to be attached to material things. My lounge suite is nice but if God says; it is adios lounge (I hope not again but we will see).
Likewise, the figurative baggage, I have learned to shed by holding on to truth. You see if you hold onto truth, you don’t have hands available to hold onto the baggage. That’s how I see it anyway.
Back on track, to manage consequences, the second thing is to realize that others have baggage. They may not define their baggage like I define mine so will not comment on others baggage but I know that their baggage is likely to contain some untruths or unhealed hurts, or unforgiveness of others or self.
After both of these issues are recognized and are in the open; it is much easier to respond to the unexpected in a calm and loving way. Many times, the loving response is all that is needed to right the situation. Sometimes, I will have to help people offload baggage. How? You might ask. Get them to hold onto truth. But I will save that for a future blog.
PS: I am working risk assessments that include God in the consequences. Keep ya posted.
Here is how I do that.
First, I recognize that I have baggage. I have baggage from previous relationships of all sorts that have left me hurt and believing a pack of lies. These packs of lies create my baggage.
Random tangent, I think that over the years, I have become reasonably good at shedding baggage, both literally and figuratively. In my life I have made major moves that have required me to shed almost all of my personal belongings. Twice in my life I have started completely over in a totally new environment with only 12 suitcases/boxes between me and my girls. I have learned not to be attached to material things. My lounge suite is nice but if God says; it is adios lounge (I hope not again but we will see).
Likewise, the figurative baggage, I have learned to shed by holding on to truth. You see if you hold onto truth, you don’t have hands available to hold onto the baggage. That’s how I see it anyway.
Back on track, to manage consequences, the second thing is to realize that others have baggage. They may not define their baggage like I define mine so will not comment on others baggage but I know that their baggage is likely to contain some untruths or unhealed hurts, or unforgiveness of others or self.
After both of these issues are recognized and are in the open; it is much easier to respond to the unexpected in a calm and loving way. Many times, the loving response is all that is needed to right the situation. Sometimes, I will have to help people offload baggage. How? You might ask. Get them to hold onto truth. But I will save that for a future blog.
PS: I am working risk assessments that include God in the consequences. Keep ya posted.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Historical Jesus
I just read in the newspaper about a convicted perjurer, Jeffrey Archer, who has written a book called, “The Gospel According to Judas”. I wonder if I am the only one that thinks that is funny.
The article went on to say that that the book was co-written with Francis Moloney, a top theologian for the Vatican. So that is where the credibility comes from, I suppose.
The article says that 3 of Jesus miracle stories were left out because it is not generally believed that these particular miracles happened and that they were added later as the story grew.
This article raises several issues for many people. Did the writers of Holy Scripture add a bit? What does that mean for a divinely inspired book? Was it then solely written by humans? Many of these issues are discussed during the study theology. I have my own way through this mess. Not that my view is correct but it works for me.
There are 4 Gospels included in what we have as the Bible. Four written from different times places and people and all having a bit of a different slant because of the context that they were written from. As people this is how we are. News from the tunnel fire in Melbourne is an example. I have seen interviews of several people, all interviewed were in the tunnel but there are differences in their story based on where in the tunnel they were and what was important to them.
Because people are this way does not mean that God did not have a hand in what they saw and recorded. God is amazing that way and inspired people from where they were to write what they saw, in their words, according to their memories. So this means the result may not be exactly historic but the result is what God intended. And we ended up with three miracles recorded that may not have happened but since the miracles are there we can learn about God from them as well.
I am not sure leaving them out benefits the story. Do we want the Bible to be historical for history sake or for the sake of God’s message?
I may read the book at some stage when I have time but until then I am confident that I have just what I need for now.
My daughter Mia added, (we were talking as I wrote this)
“There are two points of view. In a historical sense, people want to know Jesus’ true life, so then the Bible itself is not sufficient. For religion alone, have the stories as they are benefit us because it may give us more insight into God and God’s purpose; something that we can relate to in a religious sense.”
The article went on to say that that the book was co-written with Francis Moloney, a top theologian for the Vatican. So that is where the credibility comes from, I suppose.
The article says that 3 of Jesus miracle stories were left out because it is not generally believed that these particular miracles happened and that they were added later as the story grew.
This article raises several issues for many people. Did the writers of Holy Scripture add a bit? What does that mean for a divinely inspired book? Was it then solely written by humans? Many of these issues are discussed during the study theology. I have my own way through this mess. Not that my view is correct but it works for me.
There are 4 Gospels included in what we have as the Bible. Four written from different times places and people and all having a bit of a different slant because of the context that they were written from. As people this is how we are. News from the tunnel fire in Melbourne is an example. I have seen interviews of several people, all interviewed were in the tunnel but there are differences in their story based on where in the tunnel they were and what was important to them.
Because people are this way does not mean that God did not have a hand in what they saw and recorded. God is amazing that way and inspired people from where they were to write what they saw, in their words, according to their memories. So this means the result may not be exactly historic but the result is what God intended. And we ended up with three miracles recorded that may not have happened but since the miracles are there we can learn about God from them as well.
I am not sure leaving them out benefits the story. Do we want the Bible to be historical for history sake or for the sake of God’s message?
I may read the book at some stage when I have time but until then I am confident that I have just what I need for now.
My daughter Mia added, (we were talking as I wrote this)
“There are two points of view. In a historical sense, people want to know Jesus’ true life, so then the Bible itself is not sufficient. For religion alone, have the stories as they are benefit us because it may give us more insight into God and God’s purpose; something that we can relate to in a religious sense.”
Monday, March 19, 2007
I came home and cried
I am not sure why I cried. Last night I preached. I have never thought of preaching as one of my strengths and usually have some nerves before preaching, so much so that when I step up to preach, my prayer is, "okay God, come do this yourself." Often wishing he would literally do that and not use me. And most of the time things go well.
I am not sure what was different last night. Probably several things; it had been a long week of pastoral care, studies, wedding plans, and I am catching Mal's cold, I am sure this all impacted my emotional state in the end.
The service was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes in a couple of places. Julie Price was worship leader. Michelle Jenkins was praise leaders. Both are professional at what they do. Michelle, really is a professional, as her job is music therapist. Julie does chapliancy work and wonderfully spiritual. I knew without a doubt that God would work through them. I just had to write and deliver the sermon. Which I did.
During pray and preparation, I decided to preach on the "lost son" and a love that welcomes, and all the bits of the service fit together well. The problem for me was when I stood and preached, as I continued, I seemed to wear out. By the end, when I invited people to "get the party started", I felt flat and thought, "Wow, how unemotionally can a person invite others to a party?" By the end there was nothing of me left. If the invite sounded genuine and exciting, it really wasn't me. That is good in one way, cuz it means God answered the prayer to come on down. But I have rarely been left so blah.
People seemed to respond well and hung around and chatted under the 'welcome home' balloons. Several people commented positively and I smiled and chatted too. But when I got home I burst into tears. "I left them flat" I cried; I feared. My husband assured me, that I was the flat one and suggested that it was because I gave of myself that others were not flat. He also suggested that I was a bit sick and tired and should sleep. Sleep is very often good advise.
I slept well and feel pretty good this morning; ready to roll. So now I think, sick and tired, was why I cried. I am thankful that God has given me a loving husband that will not let me take myself too seriously. God was there last night and did what God does. I simply needed to stand up and do what I do and I did. God does the rest. He does it well.
Oh by the way, God very rarely lets me take myself seriously. Just ask me about flashing people on the way to the train or exploding umbrellas.
I am not sure what was different last night. Probably several things; it had been a long week of pastoral care, studies, wedding plans, and I am catching Mal's cold, I am sure this all impacted my emotional state in the end.
The service was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes in a couple of places. Julie Price was worship leader. Michelle Jenkins was praise leaders. Both are professional at what they do. Michelle, really is a professional, as her job is music therapist. Julie does chapliancy work and wonderfully spiritual. I knew without a doubt that God would work through them. I just had to write and deliver the sermon. Which I did.
During pray and preparation, I decided to preach on the "lost son" and a love that welcomes, and all the bits of the service fit together well. The problem for me was when I stood and preached, as I continued, I seemed to wear out. By the end, when I invited people to "get the party started", I felt flat and thought, "Wow, how unemotionally can a person invite others to a party?" By the end there was nothing of me left. If the invite sounded genuine and exciting, it really wasn't me. That is good in one way, cuz it means God answered the prayer to come on down. But I have rarely been left so blah.
People seemed to respond well and hung around and chatted under the 'welcome home' balloons. Several people commented positively and I smiled and chatted too. But when I got home I burst into tears. "I left them flat" I cried; I feared. My husband assured me, that I was the flat one and suggested that it was because I gave of myself that others were not flat. He also suggested that I was a bit sick and tired and should sleep. Sleep is very often good advise.
I slept well and feel pretty good this morning; ready to roll. So now I think, sick and tired, was why I cried. I am thankful that God has given me a loving husband that will not let me take myself too seriously. God was there last night and did what God does. I simply needed to stand up and do what I do and I did. God does the rest. He does it well.
Oh by the way, God very rarely lets me take myself seriously. Just ask me about flashing people on the way to the train or exploding umbrellas.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
No end in sight - DRAFT
Like so many others my story begins with, “A wandering Aramean was my ancestor.”[1] With some people this beginning may be the only point of connection to my story and with other people will there will be more connections but nevertheless the story begins with the righteous Aramean and God. It is a long story that begins with plots and subplots of kingdoms and kings, broken relationships and exile yet throughout the story is the presence of God that invokes hope in the people for yet another King and Kingdom.
Years before I was born, though, a character entered the story and a new story line erupted. It parallels the first, in that the people look forward to the promised Kingdom but at the beginning of this storyline people told others that they had met the New King. That is, a man who was God himself, who by his presence in the story, his death, and his resurrection transformed lives and peoples’ understanding of the coming Kingdom. His story was and still is so compelling that unlike most subplots in the story it did not fade with time but grew and spread.
Then I was born; just another random character in the story really, but, I, as so many encountered God and traced my roots to the Aramean. I am in the new story line. My story lives in tension with the other story line. My story lives in tension with the beliefs and storylines of all other people in the world, including the people in my storyline. You see, we all understand the story differently coloured by our own personal experiences of God and influenced by our particular storyline. Oddly enough, it is the same God throughout the whole story and in the entire story up to now, God reaches out to all people and offers a gift – the Promised Land. But how do we understand this gift? How do we journey to this promised place; receive this gift? From the storyline I am in, I must point people back to the man/God character for the answers to these questions. And to stay in my storyline, I must have some idea of what the man/God character did specifically that altered the story; not just altered, created a new storyline, my storyline.
I have no doubt that the man/God wanted to bring a new understanding of God. I do not believe the man/God wanted to end the original storyline. I believe he/He wanted to correct some misunderstandings of God that had developed over time. But his/His words and actions created such tension in understandings that my storyline could no longer live in the original storyline and my storyline was force to break free and journey alongside the original, for better and for worse.
I know that a great deal of time has passed since the man/God character appeared on the scene and that the misunderstandings that the man/God sought to correct have re-entered the story. But like all participants in the story, I look forward to the promised Kingdom so that I can get the story straight.
[1] Deuteronomy 26:5, NRSV
Years before I was born, though, a character entered the story and a new story line erupted. It parallels the first, in that the people look forward to the promised Kingdom but at the beginning of this storyline people told others that they had met the New King. That is, a man who was God himself, who by his presence in the story, his death, and his resurrection transformed lives and peoples’ understanding of the coming Kingdom. His story was and still is so compelling that unlike most subplots in the story it did not fade with time but grew and spread.
Then I was born; just another random character in the story really, but, I, as so many encountered God and traced my roots to the Aramean. I am in the new story line. My story lives in tension with the other story line. My story lives in tension with the beliefs and storylines of all other people in the world, including the people in my storyline. You see, we all understand the story differently coloured by our own personal experiences of God and influenced by our particular storyline. Oddly enough, it is the same God throughout the whole story and in the entire story up to now, God reaches out to all people and offers a gift – the Promised Land. But how do we understand this gift? How do we journey to this promised place; receive this gift? From the storyline I am in, I must point people back to the man/God character for the answers to these questions. And to stay in my storyline, I must have some idea of what the man/God character did specifically that altered the story; not just altered, created a new storyline, my storyline.
I have no doubt that the man/God wanted to bring a new understanding of God. I do not believe the man/God wanted to end the original storyline. I believe he/He wanted to correct some misunderstandings of God that had developed over time. But his/His words and actions created such tension in understandings that my storyline could no longer live in the original storyline and my storyline was force to break free and journey alongside the original, for better and for worse.
I know that a great deal of time has passed since the man/God character appeared on the scene and that the misunderstandings that the man/God sought to correct have re-entered the story. But like all participants in the story, I look forward to the promised Kingdom so that I can get the story straight.
[1] Deuteronomy 26:5, NRSV
Monday, March 12, 2007
Still looking for endings
My thoughts about endings, the human need to have endings to stories that is, has continued this week. I received an email from my Dad with one question. What did the ancients think about a good death? I assumed (correctly because I called Dad) that he wanted to know what people thought when good people died. I told him that people believed that that they died. They had been fulfilled by living a good life that would be perpetuated in the community's story, either as "story" or though offspring. He thought they missed out, because they did not have the end of the story; that there is hope of ever-lasting life though the resurrection of God's son. I did not see it that way, I felt they believed their story continued. Isn't that eternity? Their story did not end and went on. All right, I know we believe more than that specifically, the resurrection of the body but they still had eternity in mind. I find advantage to their beliefs. Consider this, 'Because they took death seriously, they took life seriously.'(Bernhard W. Anderson, The Living World of the Old Testment 4th Ed, 1988 pg 587). Do I take life seriously? Most of the time, probably...
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
HOLY SHIT!
This morning my daughter Mia told me a story and gave me permission to blog it. It is a story of the radical ways in which God can speak to us. We often hear God as a "little voice in our heads" in our house. For Mia sometimes it is not such a little voice. She says it yells. Well, we think God has devised a method to speak to Mia more along the lines of 'burning bushes'. Yesterday, she was walking along considering the movie Van Helsing, she was wondering if really bad demons are running around the earth in human form. She also was wondering if God was sending angels in human form to fight these "bad guys". She thought then, "I wonder if God works like that". Just at that moment, a bird did it's thing and covered Mia's arm and foot. She immediately thought, "Oh, I guess that is not how it works" and looked up to see a young kookaburra on a branch above her. She quickly moved out of the way to avoid another surprise attack. As she related the story, she indicated that after this experience she had a great day. That somehow this was "Holy shit" and that God had responded to her, "He does not play the Hollywood game." She is sure that God listens to her thoughts and responds to her questions. For her the moral of the story - look up when you consider the Almighty God.
Monday, March 05, 2007
world without end
It was pointed out to us in formation how we are a people that seem to need an ending to a story. This thought has facinated me since. Why is that? Are we somehow connected to the story?
My soon to be son-in-law blogged a short story that has no ending (find it at http://misterborg.blogspot.com/2007/02/unfinished-stories.html). My youngest daughter read it and was quite upset by the fact there was no ending. There are comments on the post by people looking for the ending. I was not too upset and found it to be an opportunity, the begining of a game "finish the story", that we would use at a recent party. This was the start of the conversation about endings. Do we need an ending? I remember when I was young, a song that we sang every Sunday in church. "Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen, Amen." Funny how we remember things but that is a tangent. The key words for my reflection. World without end. Is that what we believe? Then why do we seem to desire endings. The song is dated as we no longer call it a Holy Ghost but Holy Spirit. Is the 'world without end' also dated theology? I don't think so. Life everlasting, world without end, true thoughts I to my understanding. So I don't have an answer to the question. But while searching the net for an answer I found another interesting blog http://www.adamnaranjo.com/theology/
To be honest, I like the thought of God's world without end. Maybe I will no longer look for endings.
My soon to be son-in-law blogged a short story that has no ending (find it at http://misterborg.blogspot.com/2007/02/unfinished-stories.html). My youngest daughter read it and was quite upset by the fact there was no ending. There are comments on the post by people looking for the ending. I was not too upset and found it to be an opportunity, the begining of a game "finish the story", that we would use at a recent party. This was the start of the conversation about endings. Do we need an ending? I remember when I was young, a song that we sang every Sunday in church. "Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen, Amen." Funny how we remember things but that is a tangent. The key words for my reflection. World without end. Is that what we believe? Then why do we seem to desire endings. The song is dated as we no longer call it a Holy Ghost but Holy Spirit. Is the 'world without end' also dated theology? I don't think so. Life everlasting, world without end, true thoughts I to my understanding. So I don't have an answer to the question. But while searching the net for an answer I found another interesting blog http://www.adamnaranjo.com/theology/
To be honest, I like the thought of God's world without end. Maybe I will no longer look for endings.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Leading worship
On Sunday morning, I led worship and preached. I was told afterward by a couple of people that I am improving. This was good feedback, afterall, I have been doing it here for two years and have taken about 14 subjects toward ordination during that time. During that time, my goal was to improve. The comments were specific that I was getting better because I seemed more confident. I am glad I seem more confident, but I am never confident standing in front of people presumably to speak God's word to them. It is a God sized task that I need God for. So the fact that I appear more confident, indicates to me that I am coping better with the pressure of doing God's work. I hope that means, that I have become more dependent on God. It is a risk though, that the more we know, the more we may try in our own power, in which case, I would rather look uncomfortable or less confident. At any rate, leading worship and preaching are becoming a greater part of what I do.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Here I am to worship plan...
Planning worship. It is not enough that mere humans are called upon to plan, organize and lead worship of the Almighty God but we are called to do so in all of our humanity. I mean often I lead worship as a one man show. That is not so difficult because I put the service together to meet my expectations of worship as I have been trained theologically and usually most of the congregatation are happy. Then change congregations, next it if for your peers. They know what you know so you feel the expectation is higher. While preparing worhsip for peers you are working with peers. So who takes the lead, we are all in training to lead. That was really only an awkward moment at least all our expectations were similar. Then go back to lead the congregation that you are part of and take the theme that was given you by the worship task group and go. Right? Wrong? There is a new task group for the morning service that on Thursday afternoon send you their plan for the service and it doesn't match what you started. For various reasons I did not attend this new group's meeting so had to resort to phone calls and emails to find out why there was a difference. They picked hymns from the NT reading and Psalm and the theme came from the OT reading. The lovely group of eager lay people used all the readings to choose music from; they had a different expectation. This is more than awkward; it is downright difficult. I don't want to hurt feelings just want to know if the theme has changed. I acknowledge many people are more creative than I am and I acknowledge my need for those people's help. As a leader, I have never been afraid to ruffle feathers as long as I knew that I was able to smooth them over again. It is no longer simply one subordinate but a congregation that I may end up smoothing feathers for. Humanly, a big Job. It is God's job really not mine. My job to be obedient and present myself in front of the congregation to lead worship. God's job, through the Spirit to move in and through that action. Amen
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Righteous Indignation
I watched as young men vandelized the train. I was eventually able to notify an offical but by the time I got to the official I was angry. Very angry. I think that I was angry about the helpless feeling that I had. I was unable to stop them. They were 2 and young and am 1 and old (by comparison). As I watched, they took no heed of me because they knew that I was helpless. Ha, I showed them. The rail offical had police officers there in a moment. While that was important, the vandels were stopped, I was still angry. My evening had been ruined, I missed my bus while doing the "right thing". I felt as if I was the person paying for their bad manners. I guess, I was. Sleep brought a brighter perspective. It was pointed out to me that "righteous indignation", anger, prompts us to action, to do the right thing in spite of the problems the action may cause ourselves. I certainly did not think about missing the bus at that time. I was only driven by anger to stop the bad behavior. Do you suppose that is how Jesus was feeling when he overturned the tables in the temple?
Friday, January 05, 2007
A Holy Moly House
This photo shows the Chrismas light's display on Mal's daughter's home.
The lights flashed in coordination to Christmas music. A proper response was "holy moly". Many people sat outside to listen to the music and watch the lights. Some stayed for 2 or 3 songs. It took 2 days to put up the lights, hours and hours of programing to get the lights to flash in the proper place and time. Then only took Mal and the kids a day to disassemble. Somewhere, Mal has a video. It was amazing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
