Debrief

Debrief is an interesting word that seems to be in fashion. Let's take a look at how that seems to work in ministry. There is an incident, say with a minor injury. The minister debriefs people so that the carry no unhealthy guilt or shame about the incident. The incident report is done. Then the minister does not get to debrief for 4 - 6 weeks when they meet with their professional supervisor. I realize that the minister probably does have a network of minister friends to call on and pour out to. But it seems the minister sort of gets the raw deal.

Is this because in the past, there was perception that ministers were sort of better than everyone else. Once ordained does a person became some sort of super human that can handle anything?

I agree ministers have a great deal of training and gifting to debrief but they are still human. I am happy that ministers have professional supervisors to debrief with at all. This is a positive change.

So the underlying issue really is, how do the ordained keep the being set apart and the being human in a balance tension? My answer, they need to be true to themselves. Once you try to be something else, whosh the balance is tipped.

No end in sight - Half of Chapter 2

I did get this far on Chapter 2 before getting bogged. So till there is time this will have to do.


As I told you, I am non-player in a storyline that began more than 2,000 years ago. Now you may wonder how why people with the same hope in a Kingdom of the same God would come to part ways. What was it specifically that this man/God did that could divide so many for so long? Well, let me see if I can explain.

Long before the man/God entered the story, the people of the original storyline were expecting a Savior from God to redeem them and usher in the Kingdom. The prophets of old told of this event. In beautiful poetic imagery, the expectation, prophesy really, of the Savior developed. As the expectation developed so did strong opinions on what would happen when the Savior would come. Many expected sounds of trumpet and an entrance fit for a King after all, the Savior was to reign in the promised Kingdom.

But God came as a man. Not really an ordinary man but a man born of a virgin. Remarkable, unbelievable really unless you believe that it was God. God would not need a man to be born. God had already created man. But to be born human, God would need to be born from a woman.

Setting aside the birth, the man/God did remarkable things. He challenged people to love, to understand the commandments through the lens of love. He challenged people to do the right thing and find fulfillment in honesty and integrity. He challenged people to have relationship with and worship God not to simply follow religious rules. He caused miracles to happen. He healed many. He broke down barriers and accepted all people.

Wow, that sounds like a Kingdom already, not a kingdom that we know about but a kingdom worth waiting for and believing in. Many believed and many followed. But some were threatened. The man/God had turned the tables on power and authority. He broke down barriers that some believe sacred; the Savior would not save all only the chosen. And a nail was driven in the fabric of the story. Slowly, ever so slowly, the fabric of the story began to tear in two.

Some people began to seek ways to kill the man. They did not believe that he was God. These people could only see their immediate situation and the loss of their power and control of the masses. Some were afraid. Some may have been trying to push that man into taking authority like the king they believed he was. In the end, the motivations were complex and maybe even not recorded however, history has proven over and over since that time, and before, that people will kill for power.
In a mighty climax, the opposition made their move and killed the man/God. Not just a quick killing but the man/God suffered, was beaten, mocked and nailed to a cross; the most humiliating death that can be imagined. The end? Oh no, not quite.

Many believed it to be the end; the leader dead, the followers scattered. The people responsible maybe breathed a sigh of relief. The followers were stunned and amazed; lost and grieving. What had happened? Was there no hope that the Kingdom would come? But it was not the end.

The leader rose again. Alive. The man/God walked again with the people. He was seen by many. So convincingly, that the group again banded together to proclaim the coming of the promised and now soon expected Kingdom. These people knew now with the utmost certainty that they had seen the Savior of God. Only God could die and come back to life and they believed he would come again to claim his people.

But wait, God die? How can God do that? I don’t know. God is God. But follow along with me this does make sense. In the beginning of the story, for people to be in right relationship with God, they needed to love God above all and love all around them like God does. This is not an easy task, in fact is impossible to do all the time, so God put into place a system of sacrifices, cleansing and worship that would allow for the atonement of sins. This however, meant continual sacrifices as any single person would get it wrong eventually again after a sacrifice. The belief then was that the Savior would save once and for all.

Overload

Okay, I am officially overloaded. I would like to blog my ideas on the difference between God's will and man's will. But have not had time.
I would like to discuss symbols. What they mean to who.
I would like to discuss time management. This goes in cycles you know. You keep up then suddenly, there is a wrench (spanner for you Australians) in the cogs and boy is it tough going getting back on track.
There are 3 major essays I would like to do before I leave for Guam.
There is my daughter's wedding.
There are my church jobs.
I am a wife.
Mother.
Housekeeper.
Although, reflection on all these areas happens, I have little time to record it because it there is little time
Please don't feel sorry for me. I do not think I am different than anyother. Just pray.
Thanks

Missed a week

Yes, I missed a week of blogging. I went on holiday and joined my husband in Melbourne. It was a lovely time. I communed with lovely ladies at a beautiful stone church in Williamstown. We feasted, broke bread with friends and family. I did some reading and a bit of writing.
Oh yeah, I shopped too.

Complacency

Complacency

I was visiting with my Dad not too long ago, when I commented on people that are “way smarter than I am”. He stated that it may not be a bad thing to keep notice of that. By noticing I would never become complacent. We went on to discuss how complacency fills work places with unhappy workers and fills churches with people wondering why they don’t get anything out of worship anymore. They have become complacent so do not put anything into it and in return get little out of it.

My Dad is a wise man for the most part and I am proud to have him for my Dad. I will work hard at whatever I do, meaning I will try not to be complacent, so that I can honour him. I will keep this in balance, though, with the notion that he is already proud of me, so I have nothing to prove.

God is wiser than my Dad. With God, I have even less to prove but still need to work at not being complacent. Right now, while I am studying, that is relatively easy to do. I am confronted daily with ideas that are bigger than I am and feel often that I am on the edge of this great revelation but never quite getting it.

My challenge, when in full time ministry, will be in spite of the routine to be excited, as I am now, to continue to learn and seek knowledge as if I am always on the edge of that big discovery.

Calculated Risk

Just about everything a minister does has risk. The simplest greeting, “How are you doing?” can be responded to in anger or fits of tears. This does not mean that we should not take the risk; it means that we need to manage the consequences.
Here is how I do that.
First, I recognize that I have baggage. I have baggage from previous relationships of all sorts that have left me hurt and believing a pack of lies. These packs of lies create my baggage.
Random tangent, I think that over the years, I have become reasonably good at shedding baggage, both literally and figuratively. In my life I have made major moves that have required me to shed almost all of my personal belongings. Twice in my life I have started completely over in a totally new environment with only 12 suitcases/boxes between me and my girls. I have learned not to be attached to material things. My lounge suite is nice but if God says; it is adios lounge (I hope not again but we will see).
Likewise, the figurative baggage, I have learned to shed by holding on to truth. You see if you hold onto truth, you don’t have hands available to hold onto the baggage. That’s how I see it anyway.
Back on track, to manage consequences, the second thing is to realize that others have baggage. They may not define their baggage like I define mine so will not comment on others baggage but I know that their baggage is likely to contain some untruths or unhealed hurts, or unforgiveness of others or self.
After both of these issues are recognized and are in the open; it is much easier to respond to the unexpected in a calm and loving way. Many times, the loving response is all that is needed to right the situation. Sometimes, I will have to help people offload baggage. How? You might ask. Get them to hold onto truth. But I will save that for a future blog.
PS: I am working risk assessments that include God in the consequences. Keep ya posted.

Historical Jesus

I just read in the newspaper about a convicted perjurer, Jeffrey Archer, who has written a book called, “The Gospel According to Judas”. I wonder if I am the only one that thinks that is funny.

The article went on to say that that the book was co-written with Francis Moloney, a top theologian for the Vatican. So that is where the credibility comes from, I suppose.

The article says that 3 of Jesus miracle stories were left out because it is not generally believed that these particular miracles happened and that they were added later as the story grew.

This article raises several issues for many people. Did the writers of Holy Scripture add a bit? What does that mean for a divinely inspired book? Was it then solely written by humans? Many of these issues are discussed during the study theology. I have my own way through this mess. Not that my view is correct but it works for me.

There are 4 Gospels included in what we have as the Bible. Four written from different times places and people and all having a bit of a different slant because of the context that they were written from. As people this is how we are. News from the tunnel fire in Melbourne is an example. I have seen interviews of several people, all interviewed were in the tunnel but there are differences in their story based on where in the tunnel they were and what was important to them.

Because people are this way does not mean that God did not have a hand in what they saw and recorded. God is amazing that way and inspired people from where they were to write what they saw, in their words, according to their memories. So this means the result may not be exactly historic but the result is what God intended. And we ended up with three miracles recorded that may not have happened but since the miracles are there we can learn about God from them as well.

I am not sure leaving them out benefits the story. Do we want the Bible to be historical for history sake or for the sake of God’s message?

I may read the book at some stage when I have time but until then I am confident that I have just what I need for now.

My daughter Mia added, (we were talking as I wrote this)
“There are two points of view. In a historical sense, people want to know Jesus’ true life, so then the Bible itself is not sufficient. For religion alone, have the stories as they are benefit us because it may give us more insight into God and God’s purpose; something that we can relate to in a religious sense.”

I came home and cried

I am not sure why I cried. Last night I preached. I have never thought of preaching as one of my strengths and usually have some nerves before preaching, so much so that when I step up to preach, my prayer is, "okay God, come do this yourself." Often wishing he would literally do that and not use me. And most of the time things go well.

I am not sure what was different last night. Probably several things; it had been a long week of pastoral care, studies, wedding plans, and I am catching Mal's cold, I am sure this all impacted my emotional state in the end.

The service was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes in a couple of places. Julie Price was worship leader. Michelle Jenkins was praise leaders. Both are professional at what they do. Michelle, really is a professional, as her job is music therapist. Julie does chapliancy work and wonderfully spiritual. I knew without a doubt that God would work through them. I just had to write and deliver the sermon. Which I did.

During pray and preparation, I decided to preach on the "lost son" and a love that welcomes, and all the bits of the service fit together well. The problem for me was when I stood and preached, as I continued, I seemed to wear out. By the end, when I invited people to "get the party started", I felt flat and thought, "Wow, how unemotionally can a person invite others to a party?" By the end there was nothing of me left. If the invite sounded genuine and exciting, it really wasn't me. That is good in one way, cuz it means God answered the prayer to come on down. But I have rarely been left so blah.

People seemed to respond well and hung around and chatted under the 'welcome home' balloons. Several people commented positively and I smiled and chatted too. But when I got home I burst into tears. "I left them flat" I cried; I feared. My husband assured me, that I was the flat one and suggested that it was because I gave of myself that others were not flat. He also suggested that I was a bit sick and tired and should sleep. Sleep is very often good advise.

I slept well and feel pretty good this morning; ready to roll. So now I think, sick and tired, was why I cried. I am thankful that God has given me a loving husband that will not let me take myself too seriously. God was there last night and did what God does. I simply needed to stand up and do what I do and I did. God does the rest. He does it well.

Oh by the way, God very rarely lets me take myself seriously. Just ask me about flashing people on the way to the train or exploding umbrellas.

No end in sight - DRAFT

Like so many others my story begins with, “A wandering Aramean was my ancestor.”[1] With some people this beginning may be the only point of connection to my story and with other people will there will be more connections but nevertheless the story begins with the righteous Aramean and God. It is a long story that begins with plots and subplots of kingdoms and kings, broken relationships and exile yet throughout the story is the presence of God that invokes hope in the people for yet another King and Kingdom.
Years before I was born, though, a character entered the story and a new story line erupted. It parallels the first, in that the people look forward to the promised Kingdom but at the beginning of this storyline people told others that they had met the New King. That is, a man who was God himself, who by his presence in the story, his death, and his resurrection transformed lives and peoples’ understanding of the coming Kingdom. His story was and still is so compelling that unlike most subplots in the story it did not fade with time but grew and spread.
Then I was born; just another random character in the story really, but, I, as so many encountered God and traced my roots to the Aramean. I am in the new story line. My story lives in tension with the other story line. My story lives in tension with the beliefs and storylines of all other people in the world, including the people in my storyline. You see, we all understand the story differently coloured by our own personal experiences of God and influenced by our particular storyline. Oddly enough, it is the same God throughout the whole story and in the entire story up to now, God reaches out to all people and offers a gift – the Promised Land. But how do we understand this gift? How do we journey to this promised place; receive this gift? From the storyline I am in, I must point people back to the man/God character for the answers to these questions. And to stay in my storyline, I must have some idea of what the man/God character did specifically that altered the story; not just altered, created a new storyline, my storyline.
I have no doubt that the man/God wanted to bring a new understanding of God. I do not believe the man/God wanted to end the original storyline. I believe he/He wanted to correct some misunderstandings of God that had developed over time. But his/His words and actions created such tension in understandings that my storyline could no longer live in the original storyline and my storyline was force to break free and journey alongside the original, for better and for worse.
I know that a great deal of time has passed since the man/God character appeared on the scene and that the misunderstandings that the man/God sought to correct have re-entered the story. But like all participants in the story, I look forward to the promised Kingdom so that I can get the story straight.
[1] Deuteronomy 26:5, NRSV

Still looking for endings

My thoughts about endings, the human need to have endings to stories that is, has continued this week. I received an email from my Dad with one question. What did the ancients think about a good death? I assumed (correctly because I called Dad) that he wanted to know what people thought when good people died. I told him that people believed that that they died. They had been fulfilled by living a good life that would be perpetuated in the community's story, either as "story" or though offspring. He thought they missed out, because they did not have the end of the story; that there is hope of ever-lasting life though the resurrection of God's son. I did not see it that way, I felt they believed their story continued. Isn't that eternity? Their story did not end and went on. All right, I know we believe more than that specifically, the resurrection of the body but they still had eternity in mind. I find advantage to their beliefs. Consider this, 'Because they took death seriously, they took life seriously.'(Bernhard W. Anderson, The Living World of the Old Testment 4th Ed, 1988 pg 587). Do I take life seriously? Most of the time, probably...

HOLY SHIT!

This morning my daughter Mia told me a story and gave me permission to blog it. It is a story of the radical ways in which God can speak to us. We often hear God as a "little voice in our heads" in our house. For Mia sometimes it is not such a little voice. She says it yells. Well, we think God has devised a method to speak to Mia more along the lines of 'burning bushes'. Yesterday, she was walking along considering the movie Van Helsing, she was wondering if really bad demons are running around the earth in human form. She also was wondering if God was sending angels in human form to fight these "bad guys". She thought then, "I wonder if God works like that". Just at that moment, a bird did it's thing and covered Mia's arm and foot. She immediately thought, "Oh, I guess that is not how it works" and looked up to see a young kookaburra on a branch above her. She quickly moved out of the way to avoid another surprise attack. As she related the story, she indicated that after this experience she had a great day. That somehow this was "Holy shit" and that God had responded to her, "He does not play the Hollywood game." She is sure that God listens to her thoughts and responds to her questions. For her the moral of the story - look up when you consider the Almighty God.

world without end

It was pointed out to us in formation how we are a people that seem to need an ending to a story. This thought has facinated me since. Why is that? Are we somehow connected to the story?
My soon to be son-in-law blogged a short story that has no ending (find it at http://misterborg.blogspot.com/2007/02/unfinished-stories.html). My youngest daughter read it and was quite upset by the fact there was no ending. There are comments on the post by people looking for the ending. I was not too upset and found it to be an opportunity, the begining of a game "finish the story", that we would use at a recent party. This was the start of the conversation about endings. Do we need an ending? I remember when I was young, a song that we sang every Sunday in church. "Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost. As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen, Amen." Funny how we remember things but that is a tangent. The key words for my reflection. World without end. Is that what we believe? Then why do we seem to desire endings. The song is dated as we no longer call it a Holy Ghost but Holy Spirit. Is the 'world without end' also dated theology? I don't think so. Life everlasting, world without end, true thoughts I to my understanding. So I don't have an answer to the question. But while searching the net for an answer I found another interesting blog http://www.adamnaranjo.com/theology/
To be honest, I like the thought of God's world without end. Maybe I will no longer look for endings.

Leading worship

On Sunday morning, I led worship and preached. I was told afterward by a couple of people that I am improving. This was good feedback, afterall, I have been doing it here for two years and have taken about 14 subjects toward ordination during that time. During that time, my goal was to improve. The comments were specific that I was getting better because I seemed more confident. I am glad I seem more confident, but I am never confident standing in front of people presumably to speak God's word to them. It is a God sized task that I need God for. So the fact that I appear more confident, indicates to me that I am coping better with the pressure of doing God's work. I hope that means, that I have become more dependent on God. It is a risk though, that the more we know, the more we may try in our own power, in which case, I would rather look uncomfortable or less confident. At any rate, leading worship and preaching are becoming a greater part of what I do.

Here I am to worship plan...

Planning worship. It is not enough that mere humans are called upon to plan, organize and lead worship of the Almighty God but we are called to do so in all of our humanity. I mean often I lead worship as a one man show. That is not so difficult because I put the service together to meet my expectations of worship as I have been trained theologically and usually most of the congregatation are happy. Then change congregations, next it if for your peers. They know what you know so you feel the expectation is higher. While preparing worhsip for peers you are working with peers. So who takes the lead, we are all in training to lead. That was really only an awkward moment at least all our expectations were similar. Then go back to lead the congregation that you are part of and take the theme that was given you by the worship task group and go. Right? Wrong? There is a new task group for the morning service that on Thursday afternoon send you their plan for the service and it doesn't match what you started. For various reasons I did not attend this new group's meeting so had to resort to phone calls and emails to find out why there was a difference. They picked hymns from the NT reading and Psalm and the theme came from the OT reading. The lovely group of eager lay people used all the readings to choose music from; they had a different expectation. This is more than awkward; it is downright difficult. I don't want to hurt feelings just want to know if the theme has changed. I acknowledge many people are more creative than I am and I acknowledge my need for those people's help. As a leader, I have never been afraid to ruffle feathers as long as I knew that I was able to smooth them over again. It is no longer simply one subordinate but a congregation that I may end up smoothing feathers for. Humanly, a big Job. It is God's job really not mine. My job to be obedient and present myself in front of the congregation to lead worship. God's job, through the Spirit to move in and through that action. Amen

Righteous Indignation

I watched as young men vandelized the train. I was eventually able to notify an offical but by the time I got to the official I was angry. Very angry. I think that I was angry about the helpless feeling that I had. I was unable to stop them. They were 2 and young and am 1 and old (by comparison). As I watched, they took no heed of me because they knew that I was helpless. Ha, I showed them. The rail offical had police officers there in a moment. While that was important, the vandels were stopped, I was still angry. My evening had been ruined, I missed my bus while doing the "right thing". I felt as if I was the person paying for their bad manners. I guess, I was. Sleep brought a brighter perspective. It was pointed out to me that "righteous indignation", anger, prompts us to action, to do the right thing in spite of the problems the action may cause ourselves. I certainly did not think about missing the bus at that time. I was only driven by anger to stop the bad behavior. Do you suppose that is how Jesus was feeling when he overturned the tables in the temple?

A Holy Moly House

This photo shows the Chrismas light's display on Mal's daughter's home.
The lights flashed in coordination to Christmas music. A proper response was "holy moly". Many people sat outside to listen to the music and watch the lights. Some stayed for 2 or 3 songs. It took 2 days to put up the lights, hours and hours of programing to get the lights to flash in the proper place and time. Then only took Mal and the kids a day to disassemble. Somewhere, Mal has a video. It was amazing.

bedtime or birthday

Our household generally eats dinner around 6:30 to 7 pm. We are early risers and early to bed people. Last night Deb fixed dinner and it was a bit later than usual. At 7:45 Mal, says, "Deb hurry it up, it's my birthday, ah, it's my bedtime."

We all had a good laugh because none of us could make a connection between birthdays and bedtime, birthday's being annually and bedtimes daily. Anyway, we laughed together and that is what keeps us going, we have fun together.

Soon Mal will learn to blog my silly thoughts. Poor guy, he must have been tired...

The Center, oops I mean, Centre of the Universe

The planets in our solar system revolves around our sun, a smallish star. Our solar system is apparently revolving around in a big universe that is expanding. So if it is expanding one could conclude that there is a centre from which it is expanding from. This seems basic enough.

That is not how many people think though. I meet them everyday, people who think that the world, no in fact the universe, revolves around them. These are people that can only see as far as their own needs. Their lives are spent demanding that everyone else in the universe meet those needs.

I wrote these words on May 22, 2006 and saved them as a draft because I was interupted and did not finish the thought. Today, December 13, 2006, I, of course, now have no idea where I was going with this but in order to get back to posting. Here ya go, a half finished thought.

Awesome power

When I get busy blogging gets a back seat. It is not that I don't have things to say cuz I do. I have been thinking about this one for some time. I recently visited a city that had been hit by a cyclone. I thought I would blog about the power of nature.

It seems to me that most people in Australia would say they feel pretty secure in their homes. Not to say that there aren't situations where people are homeless or living in less than desirable conditions because that happens here as everywhere but for the most part, people are secure. But after what I saw there weeks after the storm reminded me of how fragile humans really are. For all our human knowledge, experience, etc. could not stop the storm. Some very big buildings were damaged in amazing ways. Nature itself could not stand up to the strength of the cyclone. The cyclone is a certainly an awesome power.

Just think. God is stronger than that.

Laughter is not failure...

After a long day of study, work, etc... there was a great deal of frivolity at the dinner table. My husband began to shake his head at my daughters' not so mild manners. With a grin on his face he interjected that it was the way that I had raised them, that I had failed. Know that he was fishing for a fight, I replied, "Laughter is not failure!" To which my youngest quickly added, "It is a success that could have been!" After roars of laughter died down, we decided that there is a bit of insight. What do you think?